Attention Smart Successful Women:
3 Surprising Reasons You’re Still Single and What You Can Do About It
by Kathleen Graham, The Love Magnet Mentor
This is me with my husband David. We were married this April in a dreamy destination wedding in the Caribbean. I am incredibly blessed to have him!! He is a powerful, amazing man who cherishes and loves me deeply. We have an extraordinary connection and I know he is my soul’s true match. We laugh, we play, we cry, and we grow together. It’s a wildly magical adventure and I’m so lucky to have called him into my life.
But it wasn’t always like this …. I had horrible luck in love and was chronically single until I was 33! It was very frustrating and confusing for me. I knew I was a great catch. I was a smart, ambitious, passionate and loving woman. I had a lot to offer. I wondered what I was doing wrong and why no one wanted me to be theirs. I attracted all the wrong men: unavailable, uninteresting, insensitive, flaky, noncommittal, not on my level (like, at all!).. you name it, I went on dates with them. And they usually didn’t call afterwards, which was equally heartbreaking. It was exhausting and I often doubted if my soul’s true match even existed. It was really hard to stay hopeful with my disastrous track record.
And then I discovered some things. It was about this time I got exposed to Tony Robbins and he was talking about relationships. Specifically masculine and feminine energies and attraction principles. It was all new to me and completely blew my mind. A light bulb went off in my head. Whoa. I got it. I had developed habits, from a very young age of being a self-directed, headstrong young girl that were all masculine. I was driven. Incredibly focused. An amazing problem solver. I could get things done and figured out very quickly. I was adept at cutting through nonsense to the truth of what was really going on.. like, let’s get to the point… with friends and co-workers. I loved to simplify. I liked to “hunt”, whether for a man online or the right blouse at the store. All masculine. Fantastic for success in my career and making things happen, but terrible for my love life! Turns out I was using little to no feminine energy. No wonder I wasn’t attracting a strong powerful masculine man, the type my heart truly longed for. I had a ton of blind spots unconsciously sabotaging what I truly wanted!
So I set aside my love life and set about discovering my femininity, which was really foreign! I spent years getting to know what it meant and how to “be” this way. In doing so, I stumbled upon a wildly empowering solution to my single girl woes. As I made the shifts in my energy and my thinking, I changed. I became the woman I’d always been born to be: my most authentic self. This was clearly very attractive to amazing men, who started to show up left and right! It was this shift in myself that allowed me to attract my phenomenal husband.
Now I share these strategies with smart successful women everywhere and help them find their powerful, masculine man.
What I see out there when I talk with single, really amazing, driven women all over the country is that there are very clear commonalities. I discovered 3 habits/ways of thinking that are keeping them stuck in a pattern of being single, lonely and unfulfilled. Just like I was.
- Thinking there’s something wrong with you
There’s a small part of you inside that secretly wonders “Why hasn’t love happened for me yet? Am I broken or something?”. And as a result-oriented woman, you are quick to do some digging to determine what needs to change and then get to work “fixing” yourself. So being single, of course, gives you much needed time to work on yourself.
The problem with thinking like this is that you fall into the high-quality-man-repelling-cycle of not feeling good enough, at the unconscious and most important level. The unconscious is crazy important because it controls what you attract into your life! Your energy becomes one of not being enough. Your personal signal that you are sending out to the world is “I’m not enough and I’m not worthy of love right now.” And guess what that attracts? Nothing! It keeps you closed off from love. You REPEL exactly what you seek.
2 things happen Once you stop making this mistake:
1) You begin to relax, which allows your more open, magnetic feminine energy to awaken. Your feminine energy is critical for attracting a powerful masculine man who can match you.
2) You open up your capacity to start truly loving yourself: just as you are. You are a powerful woman and it’s time to fully own that. And when you love yourself, it shows: it turns you into a LOVE Magnet!
- Always controlling everything
You are a strong independent woman. You know exactly what you want, what you like and don’t like. You are self sufficient. You have gotten really comfortable making decisions and being in control of your life. You aren’t sure about how it’s going to work in a relationship? Is your man supposed to lead you? You definitely don’t want to be disempowered or lose your voice, but you know you want a real man who can match you. This can be confusing.
When you are in the habit of wearing this ‘controlling energy’ all the time or what I call the ‘I’ve got this’ syndrome, your energy becomes closed off. This leaves no room to receive anyone into your life and immediately puts a wall up between you and your powerful man. This energy tends to attract the type of men who are gentler and more “feminine”. While it may be exciting in the beginning, it will inevitably become draining, passionless and unfulfilling because the energies are reversed. He is running the feminine energy and you are running the masculine energy. You won’t fully trust him, will resent him for not stepping up and be confused and question if there are any “Real Men” out there.
This is the ultimate pain because as a strong woman, you especially need a strong man who matches you. You must feel his strength, solidity, and that he can handle you.
When you become less controlling, it turns on your feminine receptivity which is very attractive to powerful masculine men. This is the energetic match where hot, passionate, fulfilling relationships become possible! For lasting passion, you must have a man connected to his masculine and a woman connected to her feminine – this polarity is what creates the spark!
- Doubting there’s a man out there who can match and love you (and wondering if you should lower your standards)
You are a smart, driven woman. You have vision. You are inspired to live an extraordinary life and not settle for less than your dreams. Is there a guy out there who could possibly match you and grow with you? You have consistently been disappointed by men so you have serious doubts about what’s possible, and honestly it feel like there’s such a tiny pool of great men out there!
So you have started considering “less than” men, considered giving guys a chance that aren’t as evolved or as successful as you. Or when you meet amazing powerful men, you bend or reduce yourself to fit who you think they want you to be or to avoid being intimidating. You’ll be funny, easygoing, flexible. Definitely not too emotional or demanding, because you don’t want to be “That Girl”.
When you aren’t fully authentic with men, you suppress who you really are. When you hide parts of yourself, like your vulnerability and fears, it actually does the opposite of what you want. It creates distance. It pushes men away and prevents intimacy. When you stifle yourself it is a turn off for powerful men because you are being inauthentic and they can’t feel you. This is a pattern where you end up hurt, sad and pissed off that you can’t seem to find the good men.
It’s time to start to own all of who you are, be fully authentic, and trust that your guy will love ALL of you.
When you allow yourself to reveal your imperfections and stop hiding them, you open up the possibility for exquisite intimacy. When you let yourself speak up, say how you really feel and let your emotions come through this allows men to see and truly feel you. it creates the space for you to magnetize your soul’s true match into your life: the man who is designed to love all of you! Powerful men respect a woman who speaks her mind, allows her vulnerabilities to be fully visible, who leads with her heart and isn’t afraid to be seen.
If this feels all too familiar to you then you’re in the right place. You’re not alone and there is something you can do about it, right now. You don’t want to miss my upcoming webinar where I reveal so much more, including what it really takes to find and keep an amazing man…
“Attract Your Powerful Man” Webinar Get FREE access now.
About the Author
Kathleen Graham is the creator of Wild Woman in Love. She is joyfully married to the love of her life, David, and they currently live in Connecticut. She shows successful women how to be a magnet for love so they can attract and keep a powerful man who cherishes and fulfills them. Her clients have experienced the deep satisfaction of attracting amazing men, thanks to the strategies she teaches.
To learn more, visit Kathleen’s site here