Disclaimer: Read only when you are in frame of mind for some heavy thinking and reflecting:) It will make you feel differently about your life.
The past few weeks have had many emotional roller coasters, different mindsets and a lot of reflecting for me.
This post is about the lessons we learn through changes, some of which are deemed unpleasant in society such as death.
On July 28th, my younger brother transitioned from the physical world to his next calling. Everyone who was affected remembered how the news was delivered and how they felt when this news impacted them. Reflection 1: Everyone was in tune to their emotions and what was happening in their life. I realized very quickly that this does not happen on a regular basis. How often do you pay attention to your emotions on a daily basis? Do you live a life aware of your emotions and the moments in your life?
As the week progressed, there were many conversations about how my brother, Taranveer lived his life. Many people reflected on how he lived life to the fullest, he impacted the lives of many through his fun nature, he could make anything a good time and treated the people in his life as his treasures. People reflected on how they needed to change their own thoughts, behaviours and actions with some of his attitude and his approach. What are aspects of your life that you would like a re-do on? What support do you need in order to make those changes into lasting changes?
The family decided that we wanted the funeral to be a complete celebration of his life. Being Sikh and Indian, we knew we would be judged for not following all of the customs and traditions and for minimizing the wailing that typically occurs at Indian funerals but for us it was important that the soul of my brother transitions in the most peaceful and joyful manner. I personally ensured that the house and funeral hall was set with a love and peaceful energy at all times throughout the last few weeks. It was important for me to maintain my energy so that this transition of my brother’s soul was a most beautiful experience at many levels. I allowed in support from family and friends to have so much taken care of around me so that I could have the strength and focus to ensure that the mourning was as gentle as possible for all those who came to pay their respects.
At the viewing, I was the older protective sister at times but also containing the energy so my brother’s soul felt the love from all those who’s hearts he touched. It was understood that everyone be given the space and care to express their emotion instead of bottling it up inside. Some of his close people left treasured memories in his coffin as he transitioned, while others just connected with his soul to pay their respects.
I was fortunate that I was able to have an amazing experience whereas I felt the connection between my soul and my brother’s and I realized our bodies were truly just vehicles supporting this physical life that we have. It is so important to take care of these vehicles that we have as that is one of the highest sign of respect for our souls. Personally, I have been always paying more attention to taking care of my emotional and spiritual well being whereas I spend less energy on my mental and physical. For me, I made a decision to bring balance into my life in these four areas through food, exercise, relaxation and having a more solid support network. How do you rate your well-being for these four areas on a scale of 1-10: emotional , mental, physical and spiritual (if you would like resources to help you start on any of these four areas, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org)?
The funeral and celebration of life was a complete honouring of Taranveer. From the respects, to the speeches to the slideshow to the stories. People cried, they laughed and they remembered how he had impacted their lives. We have heard many times to think about how you want to be remembered. One of the best exercises that I have ever done is to write my own remembrance speech. This speech allowed me to define how I wanted to live my life, what I wanted to be remembered for and what impact I want to make. Ask yourself of how you want to live your life, what do you want to be remembered for and what impact do you want to make? What is one action you can take towards this life? What kind of accountability system do you need to ensure you live this life – a coach, a mentor, a support network?
Over the next few weeks there will be posts about other lessons learned through this experience.
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