by Manpreet Dhillon | Sep 12, 2019 | Coaching, Leadership
I have a love/hate relationship with the coaching industry and coaching in general. Having been a coach for over ten years and been coached over eleven years, I have seen the impact first hand of what coaching can do for you.
My gripes came in when the industry took a turn where it fed on the fears and insecurities of individuals rather than focusing on their strengths and potential for growth.
We saw that the industry was constantly telling people how they were somehow “wrong” if they didn’t easily make 6 figures (without talking about the amount of work and back end is takes to make that happen), living the laptop lifestyle (again having a marketable skill, automation, support and delegation are an important part of the success of this lifestyle) and everything that was “wrong” with you was based on energy, feelings, and belief systems.
I fell into it too. I went through a phase of trying to fix myself because I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I was reading all the marketing that was constantly telling me that in order to make me buy solutions so I wouldn’t feel that way. I worked with experienced coaches and newbies – I let all these people into my energy and my consciousness. I would get off a coaching call, feeling a little less like myself since I had taken on the energy of yet another person who was trying to get in my head. Who wanted to frame what I needed to solve in myself and why I needed to work with them.
The kicker really came to me in January this year, when I finally figured out the real reason why I would feel overwhelmed or feel a little depressed. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe in myself, there was something wrong with me, or that past trauma was impacting me. It was because I had side effects from concussions that I didn’t realize were impacting me. My brain would become overstimulated in crowds, computer screens made me exhausted and unable to function, and fluorescent lights were energy suckers for me.
It was a sigh of relief knowing this was a concussion issue. What angered me was that I had invested heavily in the coaching industry thinking I had to fix something within myself when in reality, it was a physical challenge from past injuries.
What happened after is where the magic was. As I recovered from the concussions, I became more discerning about where I needed growth and where I needed compassion. I also became more discerning about what type of coaching I needed, what type of support I needed.
Do I regret all that I invested in coaching? No, not at all. It taught me who I really am at the core. It taught me to recognize what resonates and what doesn’t. And most importantly, it taught me how to trust myself. Yes, I could have invested a lot less and made fewer mistakes, but I have compassion for myself because in the end of it all, I gained so much as a person.
The coaching industry has flaws, but there is a real place for it as well. If I hadn’t wanted to grow into the person I am today, I wouldn’t have invested in myself. I strengthened my leadership skills, increased my productivity, learned to work smarter rather than harder, understanding my strengths and weaknesses, I learned to ask for help with more ease, trust others more when I have delegated, I also learned when I needed to leave a situation and know how to assess when to enter a new one.
Coaching is something I believe in strongly. I recommend everyone have a coach on a retainer that they can bounce ideas off, use as a soundboard, be accountable to, and who creates a container to allow your growth. Sometimes (most times), it is best to have someone outside of your normal day-to-day life provide the insights and shed light on your blindspots.
When choosing a coach, I recommend becoming clear on what your goal with coaching is. Then seek recommendations for coaches from people you trust. Know for yourself what is important for your own transformation- if they use tools, worksheets, emotional intelligence tests, etc. You may not know their tool in and out, but asking about their methods should be a part of the interview process. I encourage you to try interviewing a few coaches to find a fit of style of coaching.
Here are some key questions to ask when interviewing your prospective coaches:
- What type of people have you worked with before?
- What type of success have your past clients had?
- Where did you learn coaching techniques? (I strongly recommend engaging someone who has gone through a coaching program and has a coaching certificate. The ICF (International Coaches Certification) is great as well, but not all great coaches have it. Usually corporates, not individuals, are the ones that look for the ICF certification).
- What was their background before coaching? (The industry is unregulated, therefore it is important for you that they bring relevant experience and education.)
- What are their fees? (Remember that you are paying for their education, experience, skills, and talent over the years, so their coaching fees should reflect that experience.)
Everyone can benefit from coaching at different points in their career, but as it is a significant investment in yourself, make sure you find someone you want to work with and who you feel can provide the support you need!
If you are considering pursuing coaching with Veza Community, schedule your complimentary coaching consult today! We’d be happy to answer the above questions and anything else you might be curious about.
by Manpreet Dhillon | Dec 12, 2017 | Business, Coaching
We’ve all dealt with indecision at some point in our lives, especially in a work environment.
The trouble is, indecision comes with a really high price.
Being in limbo, without a clear decision to move forward keeps you stuck, unable to move forward… and yet, it can be really easy to wallow in a pool of decisions left unmade.
So WHY is it so difficult to make decisions?
Because thinking for ourselves, and making decisions for ourselves is confronting.
It’s so much easier to allow others to make the rules and tell us what to do. Our cultural and family biases often program us to search for and cling to the approval we receive in following the rules. We’ get really used to following the “leader” and doing things correctly. Rarely are we rewarded for making independent decisions and paving our own path. Making independent decisions comes with the potential for embarrassment, failure or some form of punishment.
Religion is a perfect example of this: a lot of people look to other individuals (such as religious leaders) to make decisions for them, rather than making those decisions themselves. Being in a passive role like this may seem easier at first, but is actually quite detrimental to happiness and personal development if it keeps you from from moving forward with confidence.
How can you be happy and confident your actions if you’re never encouraged to choose what creates happiness for you?
That lack of self-assurance translates into your leadership. Specifically, it diminishes your ability to make confident decisions and of course, your colleagues or team members will feel it too.
When you’re unable to make confident decisions on your own, it undermines and manifests low confidence in every aspect of your life, and other people will pick up on it as well.
People need decisiveness in their managers and business partners.
An assertive, decisive attitude shows that you have confidence in your abilities as well as your choices. It instantly amps up your credibility and trustworthiness.
Indecisiveness, on the other hand, detracts from your credibility, and limits your ability to attract the leadership and partnership opportunities you want most.
So where does indecision stem from?
One of the main contributing factors is analysis paralysis. This happens when you overthink every aspect and consequence of every possible decision that can be made. It’s like a game of chess in which a player sees hundreds of moves ahead with any play they make, and as such, they have a very tough time making a move at all.
This kind of downward spiral won’t just affect you personally. It will also impact your business, your colleagues and your employees too.
When you spend so much time overthinking things, you waste a lot of time and often don’t come to any decision at all. Your paralysis keeps everyone else stuck and frustrated in turn, and opportunities pass you and your organization by.
Solid analysis is important before making a choice so your decision is a well-informed one; however, at some point you have to stop analyzing and commit to some direction so you can move forward. At some point you have to cut off all the other options, make a choice and understand that this decision will lead you in the right direction, trusting that this will open up doors for you.
It’s also possible that the direction you choose won’t be the ideal one. You may have to course correct.
What’s most important is that you take SOME action regardless of what it is.
At times you do have to just make a decision, put plans into action and allow momentum to inform you of what to do next.
So often we’re looking for clarity so that we can make a decision and yet it’s making the decision and that actually creates clarity.
In a situation like this, where you’ve made a decision but soon after it doesn’t feel like the “right” one for you, it’s really important to listen to those feelings and trust your gut instinct. If you can’t trust your own intuition you’ll want to turn to someone you do trust for guidance and reassurance, whether that’s your Guides, or an established Mentor or Life coach, or a your Mastermind partners.
This isn’t a time to ask colleagues or family members about their opinion. They’re likely to offer biased advice instead of the objective, impartial feedback you’re after. With colleagues, in particular, you also run the risk of undermining how they view and listen to you in future situations. Sometimes (with less supportive or understanding colleagues) asking for advice to course correct previous decision can be seen as abdicating personal responsibility or displaying lack of self confidence. These aren’t traits you want to cultivate when in a position of leadership so it’s best to play it safe by asking for advice in a very safe space.
Avoiding this predicament is one of the reasons it’s so crucial to have a coach or mentor to turn to. They can provide a great sounding board for you to work through your decisions while allowing you the space to justify your actions to yourself without judgment or potential backlash. They’re just there to listen.
More importantly, working through your decisions or the consequences that follow with a mentor or coach is like a practice run that makes it easier for you to justify decision to others when needed.
Finally, when it comes to indecision, the most important thing to keep in mind is that every single decisions is an opportunity to learn and grow. Decisions can always be reversed or course corrected along the way if needed: nothing is really set in stone.
Should you find that you’ve made the “wrong” decision in a given situation, be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Forgive yourself, and then move towards the direction that feels more aligned.
Remember that once you’re in motion, it’s easy to change direction: it’s taking the first step forward that’s the most difficult.
It’s the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide.
This is a special workbook I’ve created for our community (for free) to help you review your year and set intentional goals for the year to come. The first section is all about capturing this year’s accomplishments so I highly recommend downloading it if you’re wanting to talk new salary (or new role) in 2018.
Download your copy of the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide here
p.s. After you grab your copy be sure to join us over in our private Facebook Community where we’ll be completing the workbook together and masterminding to create a game plan to magnetize your dream career (with the salary to match) in 2018.
by Manpreet Dhillon | Dec 5, 2017 | Business, Coaching
Many women have been taught to believe that only by behaving in a masculine manner, mirroring the behavior of the men in power around them, can they move up the ranks in leadership roles. We’re told that it’s a man’s world, and only by emulating their postures, their mannerisms, their speech patterns, can we be respected and valued in positions of power and rank.
Once women attain these ranks, however, negative responses such as double standards and name-calling set in. A woman may have attained her position by behaving like a man, but when she actually acts like her male counterparts, then she’s called a bitch. If she shows emotion, then she’s a weak little girl. As such, she can’t be trusted to negotiate with others because she might start to cry instead of standing her ground and radiating power.
We’ve grown so accustomed to the ruling patriarchy, to the masculine power that has ruled both nations and corporate boardroom tables, that we’ve been inundated by the idea that channeling said masculinity is the only way to achieve our workplace goals.
The truth, however, is quite the opposite.
Some of the strongest women in positions of corporate power are those who, instead of trying to forge a masculine path, have instead channeled their feminine power to achieve greatness.
There’s an incredible leadership skill that most women have repressed and been taught to ignore, but it’s that very skill that can be our greatest asset: our intuition.
Tapping Into The Feminine Power of Intuition
There is immense strength in women’s natural abilities, and drawing from innate feminine power can be the most important thing a woman does to attain success in her chosen career path.
Women are naturally intuitive, and a woman’s ability to both read nonverbal cues and empathically tune into other people’s emotions creates an incredible advantage when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
These are specialized skills that many men lack. By attempting to channel only masculine energy, women can sabotage their own goals instead of fast-tracking towards success.
Statistics have shown that when a woman is on a board—even just one woman—the revenues of a company will increase by 35 percent. This is because a woman can go into a negotiation room and find a compromise that works well for both parties. She can understand the values of either party, can work with them so that their positions benefit each other, and create a solution that would serve both parties equally.
Feminine intuition can also be used to visualize what kind of sales strategies above and beyond what have already been considered should be used to exceed projected revenues.
When a woman taps into her innate intuition, she can not only see the vision for the company itself, but uses that vision intuition to see which steps are needed to manifest it into reality.
She can see which types of strategic partnerships will work best for the company, and her natural strength in respecting others and negotiating for the greatest common good means that she can cultivate great rapport with everyone involved. This is ideal for long-term partnerships, as people prefer to work with those whom they trust—those who take the time to understand and respect them.
Many men are strong, powerful leaders, but they fall flat at the negotiation table. This is because many of them use aggression and strength instead of the far more effective feminine skills such as diplomacy, compromise, and negotiation. In a word: “intuition”.
Embrace Feminine Intuition and Energy in All Aspects of Life
Women often do themselves a massive disservice by channeling masculine energy instead of tapping into their feminine power.
This isn’t to say that masculine energy is at all negative, or should be avoided at all costs. Far from it. Male energy is incredibly powerful, but should merely be used when the right situations call for it, such as when focused action is required.
For example, a burst of masculine energy can help to kick-start the action needed when you need initiative to meet a specific goal. When you’re ambitious, and you have a set goal, that male energy can help to launch the initiative and set things in motion. It is active energy, rather than passive, and can be used to great effect to balance feminine power.
Think of the yin-yang symbol, and how true balance is achieved when either energy source has a small amount of the other integrated within it. Though we can, and should, draw the majority of our power from our feminine energy, we can also draw from the male energy that exists within us when we need it.
Many women who are in very powerful leadership roles know how to use small amounts of that masculine energy to help them achieve their goals, to make the difference they want to make in the world, but they also know that it’s their feminine energy that will help them to maintain said power.
It’s the feminine leadership qualities such as relationship building, and how to think strategically, that are immensely valued. They not only increase productivity, but encourage and inspire others, and help all involved to work as a dynamic team.
Home and Community Life, Mirrored in the Workplace
The same techniques that a woman uses to maintain balance and harmony in the home can be channeled into leadership in a workplace environment.
An ideal leader is one who recognizes their greatest abilities, and then delegates other tasks to those who are best suited to them. This also ensures that the leader gets the support they need, while also keeping others happy doing tasks that they can excel at.
Women also tend to be natural organizers, so they can harness their energy to create a schedule that all can adhere to, which ensures that team goals are met, and projects are completed on time.
Consider the intuition, relationship cultivation, and delegation that women may use with their children, in parent-teacher associations, in neighbourhood projects, and in spiritual community outreach programs. These are invaluable skills that most people take for granted or even dismiss, instead of acknowledging and celebrating as crucial when it comes to cultivating long-term, successful working relationships.
Assigning tasks several neighbors and organizing a calendar to ensure that a community project runs smoothly is really no different from delegating tasks to a team in a Fortune 500 company. It’s merely a different environment, or a larger scale, but the intuition, the skills, are exactly the same.
Women are born with these abilities, and it’s by acknowledging them, cultivating them, and celebrating them, that she can—and will—achieve her dreams.
When a woman taps into her feminine power, whether in her home life, her community, or in a corporate environment, she can truly move mountains.
***
If you’re ready to step into your feminine power to magnetize bigger leadership opportunities for 2018, I have a special gift to send your way…
It’s the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide.
This is a special workbook I’ve created for our community (for free) to help you review your year and set intentional goals for the year to come by tapping into your innate feminine leadership skills. I highly recommend downloading it!
Download your copy of the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide here
p.s. After you grab your copy be sure to join us over in our private Facebook Community where we’ll be completing the workbook together and masterminding to create a game plan to magnetize your dream career in 2018.
by Manpreet Dhillon | Nov 28, 2017 | Business, Coaching, Leadership
It’s really easy to obsess over your compensation package.
I know SO many women who continuously stress and strive for a bigger salary and more prestigious title, rarely stopping to even appreciate each successful promotion.
Really, it’s no surprise.
We’ve been raised by our parents and communities to believe that our paycheque is a reflection of our value. That what we’re paid is an indication of our worth.
That line of thinking is really damaging because ultimately it means that what we’re paid becomes our source of self-worth.
No wonder there’s a push to earn more and more. Even if the roles pursued aren’t fulfilling.
Here’s the thing, I’m all for shattering the glass ceiling and seeing more and more women rise in leadership and pay grade, especially women of colour, but first, I want you to know the truth.
The truth is… whatever you’re being paid right now… is not the place to define your self-worth.
Divinely you are worthy of far more than you could ever ask for.
Your worthiness is inherent in your essence and your very being.
With that understood, asking for what you’re “worth”, in the context of your career, really boils down to the VALUE you offer to your employer.
Your value is measured by your demonstrable skills, talents, experience, and education AND your ability to bring them forward and present them in a way that makes it clear to your manager that you are an asset to the organization.
When you can communicate your value with ease and confidence it’s really simple to ask for the raise or promotion you know you deserve and hear, “YES!”
Here how I coach my clients to ask for what they’re worth and get it:
Build Up Your Worthiness Mindset
Last week I talked a lot about mindset. I shared how certain mindset shifts helped me land my dream role at the United Nations .
Well guess what… Mindset is at the heart of asking for your raise or promotion too.
The mindset that’s required when you’re asking for more money or a new role is to approach the situation with the full body understanding that your paycheque does not to equate to and cannot diminish your worth.
You’re worthy because of who you are and you are capable of receiving as much money as you desire because you are a powerful creator.
When you walk into the room with this knowing, it changes the conversation.
You lead the conversation from a place of confidence and strength because you KNOW you’re capable and deserving of any amount of money you ask for…and you KNOW that the Divine / Universe / Source will bring you whatever you desire, be it in your current role, or in one far better than you could ever imagine.
Compare Your Job Description vs. Your Actual Role
In the age of cutbacks and downsizing, it’s very rare to find yourself doing only the tasks and duties that are outlined on your official job description. Quite often you’re doing 5 different jobs under one title and not being properly compensated for it. The good news is, this is a really easy way to showcase the added value you bring to the table simply by walking into the room prepared with comparative roles and salaries.
Do the research and compare your current job description alongside the job description of the role that you’re “really doing”. Dig up as much salary information as you can find too. Share salaries from similar roles, in similar industries and even in other industries as well. Don’t be afraid to present job descriptions and salaries for the role that’s one promotion or pay grade up from where you are currently to show where you desire to grow.
When it’s in black and white it becomes a lot easier for your manager to agree that it’s time to adjust your salary accordingly.
Show Your Work
In addition to outlining your actual role, you’ll also want to show your value through compiling a list of achievements and contributions you’ve made to the organization in the last year or since your last raise. Create that list, review it to boost your confidence, and bring it to the table.
Being able to confidently show and say, “These are the contributions I’ve made” demonstrates your value beyond far your ability to do the work you’re assigned.
It allows you to create some leverage here and leverage is key in negotiations.
Always Talk About The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, companies are in business to make money — even when they’re not-for-profit
When you’re reviewing your list of accomplishments be sure to talk in terms of the bottom line as often as you can. You’ll want to show how you’re driving sales, acquisitions or assets for the company or how you’re increasing resources.
If you’re in a position where you don’t directly impact the bottom line or sales, in an admin or a human resources role perhaps, you can share where you were able to save the company money instead.
Share examples that demonstrate how you’ve contributed to the improvement of workflow, used resources more effectively, and how you helped make the lives easier of those who are in sales or revenue producing roles. That’s just as important since it contributes to healthy profits.
Schedule a Time to Talk About Your Raise
Rather than springing a salary discussion on your boss, it’s really important to set a time and day to discuss your compensation with the appropriate person whether it be your hiring manager, Human Resources etc.
You want it to be clear that you’re opening a dialogue to talk about salary and you want them to be in the right mindset to have that kind of conversation.
It can feel confronting but you need to be transparent about your desire to negotiate salary in order to create the kind of outcome you’re hoping for. When your manager is also prepared to have this conversation, it puts you in a place of power. You can be totally open and upfront and your manager will expect you to be.
Take Control Of The Conversation
Being the one to request the conversation, you’re also in a place to lead the conversation if you choose…and it’s wise to do so.
Take control of the conversation by being the first to when you enter the room. Thank your manager for taking the time to review your compensation package and let him or her know that you’ve pulled together a package to review together. Present your case and allow her to provide their feedback but do not allow her to control the conversation.
When you’ve stated the facts and your requested salary, close the conversation by asking for immediate feedback if that’s appropriate or a clear date of decision.
You want to make it clear that you’re expecting a decision or decision date at the end.
Be Ready For Objections
To effectively control the flow of conversation you’ll also want to prepare for any objections beforehand.
Think of all the possible reasons your raise or promotion might be declined and come up with a counter point.
Here are a few to get started….
If they say, “Well there’s no room in the company budget.”
Prepare notes prior to the meeting on ways you can increase funds for the company or department. Or, consider countering with benefits that aren’t directly related to salary such as personal development days, money, vacation time or days off.
If they say, “That no one else is getting a raise.”
This might be an opportunity to discuss the timing of your last raise if it’s been a while. You’ll also want to explore your performance over this period of time to demonstrate where you’ve performed over and above your colleagues and therefore deserve unique opportunities. Again, you might wish to consider or suggest non-salary benefit like extra training.
Follow-up, Follow-up, Follow-up
Once you’ve wrapped up your presentation, ask for a decision within a certain timeframe. Then, let your manager know, you’ll be following up within a week and that you look forward to a positive result from the conversation. Close the conversation immediately afterwards by thanking your manager for his or her time and walking out of the room with confidence.
Be sure you follow up in a week as promised… or even better, as soon as you walk out of the room, schedule a follow-up meeting so they have it on their calendar as well.
One Last Thing…
If you’re a ball of nerves either right before you head into the conversation, the best place focus is that list of accomplishments you’ve created to help you really own the fact you that you are an asset and deserve to be compensated accordingly.
I also shared a few more tips recently right here
Remember! You have a lot to offer and your list of accomplishments (along with your cumulative list of degrees and career achievements) is proof that you have contributed so much already so go ahead and create that list!
Now is actually a great time to recall and capture your accomplishments throughout the year if you haven’t been keeping track.
To help you get crystal clear on the value you brought to your organization in 2017 and to begin setting your career goals for 2018 I have a special gift to send your way…
It’s the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide.
This is a special workbook I’ve created for our community (for free) to help you review your year and set intentional goals for the year to come. The first section is all about capturing this year’s accomplishments so I highly recommend downloading it if you’re wanting to talk new salary (or new role) in 2018.
Download your copy of the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide here
p.s. After you grab your copy be sure to join us over in our private Facebook Community where we’ll be completing the workbook together and masterminding to create a game plan to magnetize your dream career (with the salary to match) in 2018.
May these resources guide you to ask for what you’re worth and get it! Enjoy!
by Manpreet Dhillon | Dec 6, 2011 | Coaching
At some point, we may ask ourselves – Why am I not doing what I want to?
We know what we want, we know how to get there but we don’t do what we know we need to do. We may be
-too busy
-tired
-sick
-there is too much going on
-the time isn’t right
-I am not ready yet
-it’s the other person’s fault
-fill in your reason here.
Our mind can find us a million reasons why we are not doing what we want to do.
Resistance shows up in different ways. We are maybe just too busy and stressed to have a few hours for a coffee date, networking event or even for ourselves. When we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or too busy is really the time when we need to go within ourselves and ask what am I really avoiding right now? What connection am I avoiding? What emotion am I feeling?
This may not feel so good anymore…. here are a few questions to help move out of resistance.
What is it that you really want to do?
What would be the ideal conditions for you to do what you really want to do? Make a list or images of these conditions.
Being honest with yourself, now assess this list or image for what is really necessary and what isn’t.
Now write down one thing that you can do today towards your goal. Yes just one thing.
Once you have done it, how does it feel to have taken that step towards your goal? How do your reasons feel now?
What is another step you can take tomorrow?
It is very important to have compassion for yourself as you are moving towards your goals. It is also important to recognize the support you have or the type of support you may need right now. Sometimes it is a simple act of nurturing yourself through going for a walk, taking a bath or getting a massage. Other times, you may need some energy work that will help to shift some patterns. Sometimes we need a longer term relationship with a mentor/coach that we can have as our support and allow us to be accountable to our goals.
Honor yourself by asking yourself what is it that your soul is really asking for at this time.
Namaste.
Ishu Kler is a photographer and Social Media Manager at Veza Global. She currently owns and operates a freelance photography company called Ishu Kler Creative where she specializes in branding, portrait and event photography. Born and raised in Vancouver, B.C., her love and passion for photography led Ishu to travel and live in New Delhi, India, where she obtained her Diploma in Photography. She also travelled to Costa Rica in 2015, where she obtained her Certificate in Documentary Photography from Photographers Without Borders.
Kelsey is a passionate Multimedia Designer & Communications Specialist with a diploma in Multimedia Production and over nine years of diverse design experience in different areas of the world including roles within multinational in-house marketing teams Microsoft and Technetix, marketing agencies and freelance. These experiences have led her to develop strong use of design principles, skills in Adobe Creative Cloud, knowledge in motion graphics and video editing, and knowledge in creating effective communication for a wide range of audiences and cultures.
