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The Coaching Industry Destroyed My Confidence (And Made Me a Better Person)

The Coaching Industry Destroyed My Confidence (And Made Me a Better Person)

I have a love/hate relationship with the coaching industry and coaching in general. Having been a coach for over ten years and been coached over eleven years, I have seen the impact first hand of what coaching can do for you. 

My gripes came in when the industry took a turn where it fed on the fears and insecurities of individuals rather than focusing on their strengths and potential for growth. 

We saw that the industry was constantly telling people how they were somehow “wrong” if they didn’t easily make 6 figures (without talking about the amount of work and back end is takes to make that happen), living the laptop lifestyle (again having a marketable skill, automation, support and delegation are an important part of the success of this lifestyle) and everything that was “wrong” with you was based on energy, feelings, and belief systems.

I fell into it too. I went through a phase of trying to fix myself because I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I was reading all the marketing that was constantly telling me that in order to make me buy solutions so I wouldn’t feel that way. I worked with experienced coaches and newbies – I let all these people into my energy and my consciousness. I would get off a coaching call, feeling a little less like myself since I had taken on the energy of yet another person who was trying to get in my head. Who wanted to frame what I needed to solve in myself and why I needed to work with them. 

The kicker really came to me in January this year, when I finally figured out the real reason why I would feel overwhelmed or feel a little depressed. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe in myself, there was something wrong with me, or that past trauma was impacting me. It was because I had side effects from concussions that I didn’t realize were impacting me. My brain would become overstimulated in crowds, computer screens made me exhausted and unable to function, and fluorescent lights were energy suckers for me. 

It was a sigh of relief knowing this was a concussion issue. What angered me was that I had invested heavily in the coaching industry thinking I had to fix something within myself when in reality, it was a physical challenge from past injuries. 

What happened after is where the magic was. As I recovered from the concussions, I became more discerning about where I needed growth and where I needed compassion. I also became more discerning about what type of coaching I needed, what type of support I needed.

Do I regret all that I invested in coaching? No, not at all. It taught me who I really am at the core. It taught me to recognize what resonates and what doesn’t. And most importantly, it taught me how to trust myself. Yes, I could have invested a lot less and made fewer mistakes, but I have compassion for myself because in the end of it all, I gained so much as a person. 

The coaching industry has flaws, but there is a real place for it as well. If I hadn’t wanted to grow into the person I am today, I wouldn’t have invested in myself. I strengthened my leadership skills, increased my productivity, learned to work smarter rather than harder, understanding my strengths and weaknesses, I learned to ask for help with more ease, trust others more when I have delegated, I also learned when I needed to leave a situation and know how to assess when to enter a new one. 

Coaching is something I believe in strongly. I recommend everyone have a coach on a retainer that they can bounce ideas off, use as a soundboard, be accountable to, and who creates a container to allow your growth. Sometimes (most times), it is best to have someone outside of your normal day-to-day life provide the insights and shed light on your blindspots. 

When choosing a coach, I recommend becoming clear on what your goal with coaching is. Then seek recommendations for coaches from people you trust. Know for yourself what is important for your own transformation- if they use tools, worksheets, emotional intelligence tests, etc. You may not know their tool in and out, but asking about their methods should be a part of the interview process. I encourage you to try interviewing a few coaches to find a fit of style of coaching. 

Here are some key questions to ask when interviewing your prospective coaches:

  1. What type of people have you worked with before?
  2. What type of success have your past clients had?
  3. Where did you learn coaching techniques? (I strongly recommend engaging someone who has gone through a coaching program and has a coaching certificate. The ICF (International Coaches Certification) is great as well, but not all great coaches have it. Usually corporates, not individuals, are the ones that look for the ICF certification). 
  4. What was their background before coaching? (The industry is unregulated, therefore it is important for you that they bring relevant experience and education.)
  5. What are their fees? (Remember that you are paying for their education, experience, skills, and talent over the years, so their coaching fees should reflect that experience.)

Everyone can benefit from coaching at different points in their career, but as it is a significant investment in yourself, make sure you find someone you want to work with and who you feel can provide the support you need!

If you are considering pursuing coaching with Veza Community, schedule your complimentary coaching consult today! We’d be happy to answer the above questions and anything else you might be curious about.

Veza Leaders to Watch: Hurriya Burney

Veza Leaders to Watch: Hurriya Burney

At Veza, we honour the work of inspiring leaders every single day. Not just the known and notable but rather, everyday women who are drawing upon and celebrating their culture while making a lasting difference in their community using their gifts. From authors and teachers, CEOs to entrepreneurs, not-for-profit directors, artists, and more, these women are changing the face of leadership.

These are truly women to watch and Veza Community is so pleased to share their brilliance.

May their stories inspire YOU to rise.

Meet Hurriya Burney

Hurriya Burney is Vice President, Commercial Banking, at RBC Royal Bank. She leads a team of 13 Commercial Accounts and leads RBC’s Healthcare segment strategy in BC. Hurriya holds an MBA in Finance from the University of British Columbia and a Bachelors in Economics & Business and English from Lafayette College.

Tell me in 100 words who you are? How would you describe yourself. 
A sales leader in financial services passionate about diversity and inclusion, I am committed to mentoring and supporting others to achieve their career goals. I am also a writer who aims to inspire and motivate others by sharing my leadership, career, and life lessons on Medium.com/@burneyhurriya. I believe in giving back to my community through engagement with organizations such as Veza and Female Funders. An immigrant to Canada, I am proud to call Vancouver home for the last 10 years. I am energized by travel, building new connections, learning from others’ stories, and taking on new challenges.
What motivates/inspires you to get up each morning? 
The thought of having a positive impact on someone’s life and contributing to someone’s career growth. I love to spend time with my team in market, solving problems and delighting clients together.
What contribution are you most proud of to date?
I am extremely proud of mentoring a bright, ambitious young woman through Veza and having a material impact on her confidence and self-belief.
What is it that you feel that you teach others through how you act/show up each day?
My goal is to be a role model for minority women, showing them that they can ascend to senior levels in the corporate world. I also aim to be a relatable leader who is not afraid to make herself vulnerable and to share her flaws. I teach others about hard work, perseverance, and the value of being bold and advocating for yourself.
What’s one change you would like to see in this world?
Acceptance of all of the differences that make us unique – but also makes us human. I firmly believe in never judging others when you haven’t lived their lives and in treating everyone exactly the same, whether it is a janitor or a CEO.
What books are currently on your nightstand?
‘When’ by Daniel Pink. ‘The 10X Rule’ by Grant Cardone. ‘A House in the Sky’ by Amanda Lindhout

Find her on Instagram

If you know a leader we should feature please invite her to share her story with us here.

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Aliya Amershi

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Aliya Amershi

This February, all month long, we’re honouring the work of 28 inspiring leaders. Women who are drawing upon and celebrating their culture while making a lasting difference in their community using their gifts. From authors and teachers, CEOs to entrepreneurs, not-for-profit directors, artists, and more, these women are changing the face of leadership.

These are truly women to watch and veza community is so pleased to share their brilliance.

May their stories inspire YOU to rise.

Meet Aliya Amershi.

Aliya is the Founder and CEO of the startup AskaTechie.com, where they are developing an AI-Based, On-Demand Knowledge Workforce Platform. They are solving the outsourcing challenges that Startups face by matching them with highly skilled technical talent best suited for their urgent project needs so that they can grow faster.

She is a true visionary and a fearless hustler with 20 years of technology experience. Aliya earned her degree in Computer Science from UBC and has been working with top players in tech and media, including Electronic Arts in Vancouver and Viacom Networks in New York. Her roles have included Software Engineer, Tech Lead, and IT Manager. One of her many notable accomplishments includes winning an Emmy for the Nick App at Viacom. She’s also currently involved with a number of global organizations, such as The Founder Institute, Women 2.0, and Youngry.com.

Aliya is a powerful force of nature, inspirational thought leader, and a creative innovator who is set to disrupt the tech startup world. She was just accepted into Canadian Technology Accelerator in Silicon Valley, and will be one to watch in the coming months!

So tell us, Aliya: What inspires you most? What motivates you to get up every morning?

My passion to disrupt the tech startups world with my ideas, empower business owners with their technology needs, and to break the stereotype of what a successful tech startup founder looks like.

How do you feel that your actions teach or inspire others?

Through persistence, passion, positivity, confidence, and fearlessness. I maintain this state of high vibration by practicing both morning and evening rituals every day without fail.

What is one change you’d like to see in the world?

Female Founders who are already doing it get REAL support—i.e. funding, connections, sales, etc.

Which of your contributions to date have given you the greatest sense of pride?

My time, advice, presentations, and support I have provided through various organizations to new startup founders and female entrepreneurs, to help them with their technology needs or build their business.

We hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know Aliya! Learn more about her work and stay connected through her various social media platforms:

Website: AskaTechie.com

LinkedIn: aliyaaamershi

Twitter: @aliyaaskatechie

Company Facebook: AskaTechieOnline

Company LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/askatechie

Twitter: @AskaTechie_

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/askatechie

Ready to RISE as a leader in your own right?

Get your copy of veza community’s NEW Feminine Leadership Guide. It’s our gift to YOU.

Inside the Feminine Leadership Guide you’ll receive a series of activating journal prompts and action exercises to inspire your next steps on the journey to greater impact.

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Sarbdeep Kaur (Parmar) Johal

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Sarbdeep Kaur (Parmar) Johal

This February, all month long, we’re honouring the work of 28 inspiring leaders. Women who are drawing upon and celebrating their culture while making a lasting difference in their community using their gifts. From authors and teachers, CEOs to entrepreneurs, not-for-profit directors, artists, and more, these women are changing the face of leadership.

These are truly women to watch and veza community is so pleased to share their brilliance.

May their stories inspire YOU to rise.

Meet Sarbdeep Johal.

Sarbdeep is a teacher by profession. As she stepped into motherhood a few years ago, she was able to reflect deeply about her connection with the language she was first taught to speak by her own mother. The language was Punjabi, and that was how she was able to identify the author within herself: she has since published two Punjabi/English books under the B.B. Series (@Baanibooks).

Sarbdeep would say that she is a keener, a learner, and a risk taker. She believes in positive energy, feeling strongly that if you are able to dream, you can definitely bring that dream into reality through your faith, hard work, and self-confidence.

So tell us, Sarbdeep: What inspires you most? What motivates you to get up every morning?

The students I teach at school. I feel passionate about teaching them as well as learning from their experiences. It is an amazing feeling to see the world from a learner’s perspective, and this keeps me grounded as a teacher, and especially as a human being

How do you feel that your actions teach or inspire others?

I teach empathy and respect.

I feel having an understanding as humans, as learners or even as a teacher is most important aspect of my job. Always putting yourself into other person’s position and try to connect how they are feeling thus help them succeed in what they may be struggling with. I try to be positive and happy most of the time

What is one change you’d like to see in the world?

One change I would like to see would be more acceptance—more knowledge and respect for all humankind as one.

Which of your contributions to date have given you the greatest sense of pride?

My teaching career as well as the Punjabi English books I was able to publish last year under B.B.Series. Baanibooks.

We hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know Sarbdeep! Learn more about her work and stay connected via Facebook: B.B.Series, Instagram: @b.b.series , or on her Amazon author page: Sarbdeep Johal.

Ready to RISE as a leader in your own right?

Get your copy of veza community’s NEW Feminine Leadership Guide. It’s our gift to YOU.

Inside the Feminine Leadership Guide you’ll receive a series of activating journal prompts and action exercises to inspire your next steps on the journey to greater impact.

Get instant access to the veza Feminine Leadership Guide right here.

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Mollie Sommer

28 Leaders To Watch: Meet Mollie Sommer

This February, all month long, we’re honouring the work of 28 inspiring leaders. Women who are drawing upon and celebrating their culture while making a lasting difference in their community using their gifts. From authors and teachers, CEOs to entrepreneurs, not-for-profit directors, artists, and more, these women are changing the face of leadership.

These are truly women to watch and veza community is so pleased to share their brilliance.

May their stories inspire YOU to rise.

Meet Mollie Sommer.

Mollie is the proud mother of two beautiful children, and owner of Mollie Sommer Wellness in Kamloops, BC. Learning to let go and embracing her faith, she has opened her heart to a new way of life. Through trial and error, Mollie’s life has become a teaching tool for those struggling to find their feet. She uses her experiences to authentically teach, coach, and lead others. Her company offers meditation, mindfulness, yoga, Reiki, life coaching, and retreats to help clients grow, expand, and step into the life they want.

Mollie feels that life has been her education. She has experienced life’s highs and lows and has come out the other side with her lessons stored as tools in her toolbox. She has turned her Karma into Dharma, using her past to build her purpose. She feels that her past has made her strong: a lioness who uses the infinite love of the universe to help people rise out of their fears and fog.

So tell us, Mollie: What inspires you most? What motivates you to get up every morning?

Gratitude, love, and the great opportunities life offers.

How do you feel that your actions teach or inspire others?

I try to lead with love in everything I do. Every day, I practice gratitude, compassion, love, and excitement for life’s adventure. I hope that I teach others to do the same.

What is one change you’d like to see in the world?

I would love to see people shift from living from a place of fear into a place of faith and love.

Which of your contributions to date have given you the greatest sense of pride?

My children. They are pieces of my soul shining back at me.

We hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know Mollie! Learn more about her work and stay connected via social media @molliesommerwellness, or via her webpage: www.molliesommer.com

Ready to RISE as a leader in your own right?

Get your copy of veza community’s NEW Feminine Leadership Guide. It’s our gift to YOU.

Inside the Feminine Leadership Guide you’ll receive a series of activating journal prompts and action exercises to inspire your next steps on the journey to greater impact.

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