Love yourself first

In the past few months I have been looking at the concept of coming with the viewpoint of love for everything I did. I was constantly asking myself the question “What would love do?” and wow did it guide me in ways that I wouldn’t have even imagined.

I would do things that didn’t make sense to me but when I asked myself the question and did them, they felt right. The situation would turn out better than imagined, the other person would feel so much love and things just kept happening.

But there was a niggly feeling inside me that the question needed to change. I was missing something. I felt that I was sacrificing even when it some cases I wasn’t but I felt that I was compromising something.

Then it sparked….the better question to ask is “Out of love for myself and in this situation or this person, what inspired action do I take?” and wow, in an instant I realize I am putting myself first. I am taking care of my needs before I take care of others.

Are you facing a challenging situation or wondering what your next step should be? I invite you to ask yourself “Out of love for myself and in this situation or this person, what inspired action do I take?” and LISTEN to what your heart says.

As a result of this question, I decided to refocus my attention back on the beautiful community I have been a part of.

I invite you to join me in one of the two events that are dear to my heart:

Business Strategy Day on April 24th 10am-3pm where we will spend the day focusing on you, your vision, and what you need to contribute more to your community and your business.



Attention Smart Successful Women: 3 Surprising Reasons You’re Still Single and What You Can Do About It

Attention Smart Successful Women: 3 Surprising Reasons You’re Still Single and What You Can Do About It

Attention Smart Successful Women:

3 Surprising Reasons You’re Still Single and What You Can Do About It

by Kathleen Graham, The Love Magnet Mentor

This is me with my husband David. We were married this April in a dreamy destination wedding in the Caribbean. I am incredibly blessed to have him!! He is a powerful, amazing man who cherishes and loves me deeply. We have an extraordinary connection and I know he is my soul’s true match. We laugh, we play, we cry, and we grow together. It’s a wildly magical adventure and I’m so lucky to have called him into my life. kathleen


But it wasn’t always like this …. I had horrible luck in love and was chronically single until I was 33! It was very frustrating and confusing for me. I knew I was a great catch. I was a smart, ambitious, passionate and loving woman. I had a lot to offer.  I wondered what I was doing wrong and why no one wanted me to be theirs. I attracted all the wrong men: unavailable, uninteresting, insensitive, flaky, noncommittal, not on my level (like, at all!).. you name it, I went on dates with them. And they usually didn’t call afterwards, which was equally heartbreaking. It was exhausting and I often doubted if my soul’s true match even existed. It was really hard to stay hopeful with my disastrous track record.

And then I discovered some things. It was about this time I got exposed to Tony Robbins and he was talking about relationships. Specifically masculine and feminine energies and attraction principles. It was all new to me and completely blew my mind. A light bulb went off in my head. Whoa. I got it. I had developed habits, from a very young age of being a self-directed, headstrong young girl that were all masculine. I was driven. Incredibly focused. An amazing problem solver. I could get things done and figured out very quickly. I was adept at cutting through nonsense to the truth of what was really going on.. like, let’s get to the point… with friends and co-workers. I loved to simplify. I liked to “hunt”,  whether for a man online or the right blouse at the store. All masculine. Fantastic for success in my career and making things happen, but terrible for my love life! Turns out I was using little to no feminine energy. No wonder I wasn’t attracting a strong powerful masculine man, the type my heart truly longed for. I had a ton of blind spots unconsciously sabotaging what I truly wanted!

So I set aside my love life and set about discovering my femininity, which was really foreign! I spent years getting to know what it meant and how to “be” this way. In doing so, I stumbled upon a wildly empowering solution to my single girl woes. As I made the shifts in my energy and my thinking, I changed. I became the woman I’d always been born to be: my most authentic self. This was clearly very attractive to amazing men, who started to show up left and right! It was this shift in myself that allowed me to attract my phenomenal husband.

Now I share these strategies with smart successful women everywhere and help them find their powerful, masculine man.

What I see out there when I talk with single, really amazing, driven women all over the country is that there are very clear commonalities. I discovered 3 habits/ways of thinking that are keeping them stuck in a pattern of being single, lonely and unfulfilled. Just like I was.

  1. Thinking there’s something wrong with you

There’s a small part of you inside that secretly wonders “Why hasn’t love happened for me yet? Am I broken or something?”. And as a result-oriented woman, you are quick to do some digging to determine what needs to change and then get to work “fixing” yourself. So being single, of course, gives you much needed time to work on yourself.

The problem with thinking like this is that you fall into the high-quality-man-repelling-cycle of not feeling good enough, at the unconscious and most important level. The unconscious is crazy important because it controls what you attract into your life! Your energy becomes one of not being enough. Your personal signal that you are sending out to the world is “I’m not enough and I’m not worthy of love right now.” And guess what that attracts? Nothing! It keeps you closed off from love. You REPEL exactly what you seek.

2 things happen Once you stop making this mistake:

1) You begin to relax, which allows your more open, magnetic feminine energy to awaken. Your feminine energy is critical for attracting a powerful masculine man who can match you.

2) You open up your capacity to start truly loving yourself: just as you are. You are a powerful woman and it’s time to fully own that. And when you love yourself, it shows: it turns you into a LOVE Magnet!


  1. Always controlling everything

You are a strong independent woman. You know exactly what you want, what you like and don’t like. You are self sufficient. You have gotten really comfortable making decisions and being in control of your life. You aren’t sure about how it’s going to work in a relationship? Is your man supposed to lead you? You definitely don’t want to be disempowered or lose your voice, but you know you want a real man who can match you. This can be confusing.

When you are in the habit of wearing this ‘controlling energy’ all the time or what I call the ‘I’ve got this’ syndrome, your energy becomes closed off. This leaves no room to receive anyone into your life and immediately puts a wall up between you and your powerful man. This energy tends to attract the type of men who are gentler and more “feminine”. While it may be exciting in the beginning, it will inevitably become draining, passionless and unfulfilling because the energies are reversed. He is running the feminine energy and you are running the masculine energy. You won’t fully trust him, will resent him for not stepping up and be confused and question if there are any “Real Men” out there.

This is the ultimate pain because as a strong woman, you especially need a strong man who matches you. You must feel his strength, solidity, and that he can handle you.  

When you become less controlling, it turns on your feminine receptivity which is very attractive to powerful masculine men. This is the energetic match where hot, passionate, fulfilling relationships become possible! For lasting passion, you must have a man connected to his masculine and a woman connected to her feminine – this polarity is what creates the spark!

  1. Doubting there’s a man out there who can match and love you (and wondering if you should lower your standards)

You are a smart, driven woman. You have vision. You are inspired to live an extraordinary life and not settle for less than your dreams. Is there a guy out there who could possibly match you and grow with you? You have consistently been disappointed by men  so you have serious doubts about what’s possible, and honestly it feel like there’s such a tiny pool of great men out there!

So you have started considering “less than” men, considered giving guys a chance that aren’t as evolved or as successful as you. Or when you meet amazing powerful men, you bend or reduce yourself to fit who you think they want you to be or to avoid being intimidating. You’ll be funny, easygoing, flexible. Definitely not too emotional or demanding, because you don’t want to be “That Girl”.

When you aren’t fully authentic with men, you suppress who you really are. When you hide parts of yourself, like your vulnerability and fears, it actually does the opposite of what you want. It creates distance. It pushes men away and prevents intimacy. When you stifle yourself it is a turn off for powerful men because you are being inauthentic and they can’t feel you. This is a pattern where you end up hurt, sad and pissed off that you can’t seem to find the good men.

It’s time to start to own all of who you are, be fully authentic, and trust that your guy will love ALL of you.

When you allow yourself to reveal your imperfections and stop hiding them, you open up the possibility for exquisite intimacy. When you let yourself speak up, say how you really feel and let your emotions come through this allows men to see and truly feel you. it creates the space for you to magnetize your soul’s true match into your life: the man who is designed to love all of you! Powerful men respect a woman who speaks her mind, allows her vulnerabilities to be fully visible, who leads with her heart and isn’t afraid to be seen.

What’s Next?

If this feels all too familiar to you then you’re in the right place. You’re not alone and there is something you can do about it, right now. You don’t want to miss my upcoming webinar where I reveal so much more, including what it really takes to find and keep an amazing man…

“Attract Your Powerful Man” Webinar  Get FREE access now


About the Author

Kathleen Graham is the creator of Wild Woman in Love. She is joyfully married to the love of her life, David, and they currently live in Connecticut. She shows successful women how to be a magnet for love so they can attract and keep a powerful man who cherishes and fulfills them. Her clients have experienced the deep satisfaction of attracting amazing men, thanks to the strategies she teaches.

To learn more, visit Kathleen’s site here

The sense of community elevates the spirit

Throughout the ages, it has been said that it takes “a community to raise a child.”

This quote really resonated with me in the past few months as I realized that as community gathers and fulfills the needs of any home, it is quite easy to get things done and move forward.

This lesson I learned through the experience of having over a hundred people in my home and not knowing who  was bringing the groceries, what was being served for dinner, who cleaned the house and how everything was just getting done. Obviously there were a few key members that really stood out as they would be either the first ones to arrive or the last ones to leave, regardless there were many helping hands.

It was interesting in watching everyone’s reactions and emotions as individuals took typical gender specific roles. The women were in the kitchen and cleaning while the males were doing the errands, taking the garbage out or setting up the furniture. I wondered if this was happening as people were so emotional that they were going to their “trained” mannerisms, did they do this because as a society we expect that these are the roles that will be fulfilled or this is where they felt comfortable. All I knew is that a core group of people helped out regardless of what it was. I was requested many a times to tell people “what they can do to help” and “how can they support me right now” or “what do I need?” I realized I hear these questions on a daily basis but it wasn’t until now I realized how much community really meant to me, how much support we really do need on a day to day basis and I don’t have to do it all alone. The exact same way, a child is raised by the parents, grandparents, teachers, relatives, etc. The parents never do it on their own. They always have support along the way.

These realizations are a standard way of living for some but for me they showed me that I love the sense of community and I can open myself to receive the support that others provide me. That I can accept the help, love and support of others with gratitude as one of the core essence of all of us is that we want to have a sense of belonging, a sense of feeling needed and a sense of helping others.

So I raise question: Where can you allow in more support? What do you need to do or be in order to build a greater sense of community for yourself?

Honestly, from experience, I can tell you that the sense of community will elevate your spirit in the most positive way. You will have a greater sense of love for yourself as you allow in the love from others.


Self-Love: Choose it now!

Self-Love: Choose it now!

Photo Credit: http://www.cs.umd.edu/~shiv/inspiration.htm

I spent the last weekend with Amma, the hugging saint that has hugged over 32 million people around the world and WOW, it was once again another blissful and unexplainable experience.

This was my third time being hugged by Amma. I have been very fortunate to have visited her in her home in Amritapuri in Kerala prior to this weekend’s experience (of course she doesn’t remember me from the thousands that meet her each day, but I remember each experience vividly).

As I had geared up for this weekend, I had started noticing the love that I was surrounded by. Love showed up in my life through my family, my friends and strangers who felt like we had met before. Love showed up in my interactions with people whether it be in person, in text message, emails and phone calls. Love felt very presence in my life.

I had began to notice that I was much more open to love now than I have ever been before. I do credit Amma to opening my heart, showing me the pure love that she exhibits and showing me how it felt to be loved. I did notice that there were aspects of me that was not open to be being loved. As I have spent time reflecting on how I can be more in the energy of love, I have noticed this shifting as well.

One of my biggest lessons of the weekend was when I watched her interact with each person that approached her. She gave her undivided attention to each person and to each person, she made them feel special as if they were the only person in the world.

For me, this brought upon self reflection of how I treat myself and others. I came to realize that if I treated myself and others as special as each individual is, how blissful that would feel not only to myself but to them as well. I ask you “how often do you treat yourself as that special someone?” As I was reminded today as we fill ourselves with self-love, the greater the capacity it to love others.

Self-love comes in many forms. Self-love is the talks that you give yourself, the permission to live life the way you want, taking care of your mind, body, and soul on a daily basis and self-love is the relationship with yourself, others, money, body and the universe.

Take the 5 minutes each day to ask yourself:

a) How can I be in the energy of love today? What actions am I guided to take?

b) How am I taking care of my mind, body and soul today?

This quick exercise will allow you to grow that love inside yourself, so your world will become more loving externally.

Exciting Events coming up

June 19th – “Truths and Myths of Successful Startup Businesses” – www.byobfsuccessstartup.eventbrite.ca

Come learn from experts and entrepreneurs on tips on how to have a successful startup.

June 20th – “Wealthylicious Vancouver” – http://wealthyliciousvancouver.eventbrite.com/

Heal Your Money Stories, Activate Your Millionaire Mindset and Create Multiple Streams of Income.

July 8th – “Attract More Money and Live Healthier” – http://wp.me/P1HP20-7M

A 4 tele-call series on Attracting more Money and living healthier focusing on money mindset, and a 30-day action plan to achieve your goals. (A tele-call series is a group coaching program, where you will be provided a conference call number to dial into during call times and will be sent a recording incase you miss the live class. Email support is provided in between calls to answer all questions you may have)

Love Yourself Before You Love Anyone Else

“The love you seek is seeking you at this moment.”
– Deepak Chopra

What kind of love do you most seek? What does this love look like for you?

Our capacity to love is dependent on how much we love ourselves. Our heart can only love what it practices on a daily basis. Many times we believe we really do love ourselves, usually we do. There are different forms of love within ourselves as well.

I personally have struggled with the concept of what does it mean to love myself. It is not something that is tangible. It is not something that is measurable so how can I improve how much I love myself. Being South Asian, there has a history of repressed emotions. This is changing over time as people become more aware of themselves and others around them. This background does further support the notion that I didn’t know how to love myself more.

The steps that I took in order to develop a deeper capacity of love for myself were

1. I developed a clear picture of how I wanted to feel when I fully love myself. I did this through meditation and the feeling of love.

2. I developed a daily list of gratitude for aspects of myself. The list included things I am proud of, achievements and successes I had.

3. I used affirmations like “I am in the process of  loving myself, wholly and completely.” The process of loving myself wholly and completely, allowed me to recognize signs of how I am loving myself.”

Describe for yourself what does love look like for you?

Be in the energy of love each day, every day.