I have a love/hate relationship with the coaching industry and coaching in general. Having been a coach for over ten years and been coached over eleven years, I have seen the impact first hand of what coaching can do for you.
My gripes came in when the industry took a turn where it fed on the fears and insecurities of individuals rather than focusing on their strengths and potential for growth.
We saw that the industry was constantly telling people how they were somehow “wrong” if they didn’t easily make 6 figures (without talking about the amount of work and back end is takes to make that happen), living the laptop lifestyle (again having a marketable skill, automation, support and delegation are an important part of the success of this lifestyle) and everything that was “wrong” with you was based on energy, feelings, and belief systems.
I fell into it too. I went through a phase of trying to fix myself because I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I was reading all the marketing that was constantly telling me that in order to make me buy solutions so I wouldn’t feel that way. I worked with experienced coaches and newbies – I let all these people into my energy and my consciousness. I would get off a coaching call, feeling a little less like myself since I had taken on the energy of yet another person who was trying to get in my head. Who wanted to frame what I needed to solve in myself and why I needed to work with them.
The kicker really came to me in January this year, when I finally figured out the real reason why I would feel overwhelmed or feel a little depressed. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe in myself, there was something wrong with me, or that past trauma was impacting me. It was because I had side effects from concussions that I didn’t realize were impacting me. My brain would become overstimulated in crowds, computer screens made me exhausted and unable to function, and fluorescent lights were energy suckers for me.
It was a sigh of relief knowing this was a concussion issue. What angered me was that I had invested heavily in the coaching industry thinking I had to fix something within myself when in reality, it was a physical challenge from past injuries.
What happened after is where the magic was. As I recovered from the concussions, I became more discerning about where I needed growth and where I needed compassion. I also became more discerning about what type of coaching I needed, what type of support I needed.
Do I regret all that I invested in coaching? No, not at all. It taught me who I really am at the core. It taught me to recognize what resonates and what doesn’t. And most importantly, it taught me how to trust myself. Yes, I could have invested a lot less and made fewer mistakes, but I have compassion for myself because in the end of it all, I gained so much as a person.
The coaching industry has flaws, but there is a real place for it as well. If I hadn’t wanted to grow into the person I am today, I wouldn’t have invested in myself. I strengthened my leadership skills, increased my productivity, learned to work smarter rather than harder, understanding my strengths and weaknesses, I learned to ask for help with more ease, trust others more when I have delegated, I also learned when I needed to leave a situation and know how to assess when to enter a new one.
Coaching is something I believe in strongly. I recommend everyone have a coach on a retainer that they can bounce ideas off, use as a soundboard, be accountable to, and who creates a container to allow your growth. Sometimes (most times), it is best to have someone outside of your normal day-to-day life provide the insights and shed light on your blindspots.
When choosing a coach, I recommend becoming clear on what your goal with coaching is. Then seek recommendations for coaches from people you trust. Know for yourself what is important for your own transformation- if they use tools, worksheets, emotional intelligence tests, etc. You may not know their tool in and out, but asking about their methods should be a part of the interview process. I encourage you to try interviewing a few coaches to find a fit of style of coaching.
Here are some key questions to ask when interviewing your prospective coaches:
- What type of people have you worked with before?
- What type of success have your past clients had?
- Where did you learn coaching techniques? (I strongly recommend engaging someone who has gone through a coaching program and has a coaching certificate. The ICF (International Coaches Certification) is great as well, but not all great coaches have it. Usually corporates, not individuals, are the ones that look for the ICF certification).
- What was their background before coaching? (The industry is unregulated, therefore it is important for you that they bring relevant experience and education.)
- What are their fees? (Remember that you are paying for their education, experience, skills, and talent over the years, so their coaching fees should reflect that experience.)
Everyone can benefit from coaching at different points in their career, but as it is a significant investment in yourself, make sure you find someone you want to work with and who you feel can provide the support you need!
If you are considering pursuing coaching with Veza Community, schedule your complimentary coaching consult today! We’d be happy to answer the above questions and anything else you might be curious about.
It’s really easy to obsess over your compensation package.
I know SO many women who continuously stress and strive for a bigger salary and more prestigious title, rarely stopping to even appreciate each successful promotion.
Really, it’s no surprise.
We’ve been raised by our parents and communities to believe that our paycheque is a reflection of our value. That what we’re paid is an indication of our worth.
That line of thinking is really damaging because ultimately it means that what we’re paid becomes our source of self-worth.
No wonder there’s a push to earn more and more. Even if the roles pursued aren’t fulfilling.
Here’s the thing, I’m all for shattering the glass ceiling and seeing more and more women rise in leadership and pay grade, especially women of colour, but first, I want you to know the truth.
The truth is… whatever you’re being paid right now… is not the place to define your self-worth.
Divinely you are worthy of far more than you could ever ask for.
Your worthiness is inherent in your essence and your very being.
With that understood, asking for what you’re “worth”, in the context of your career, really boils down to the VALUE you offer to your employer.
Your value is measured by your demonstrable skills, talents, experience, and education AND your ability to bring them forward and present them in a way that makes it clear to your manager that you are an asset to the organization.
When you can communicate your value with ease and confidence it’s really simple to ask for the raise or promotion you know you deserve and hear, “YES!”
Here how I coach my clients to ask for what they’re worth and get it:
Build Up Your Worthiness Mindset
Last week I talked a lot about mindset. I shared how certain mindset shifts helped me land my dream role at the United Nations .
Well guess what… Mindset is at the heart of asking for your raise or promotion too.
The mindset that’s required when you’re asking for more money or a new role is to approach the situation with the full body understanding that your paycheque does not to equate to and cannot diminish your worth.
You’re worthy because of who you are and you are capable of receiving as much money as you desire because you are a powerful creator.
When you walk into the room with this knowing, it changes the conversation.
You lead the conversation from a place of confidence and strength because you KNOW you’re capable and deserving of any amount of money you ask for…and you KNOW that the Divine / Universe / Source will bring you whatever you desire, be it in your current role, or in one far better than you could ever imagine.
Compare Your Job Description vs. Your Actual Role
In the age of cutbacks and downsizing, it’s very rare to find yourself doing only the tasks and duties that are outlined on your official job description. Quite often you’re doing 5 different jobs under one title and not being properly compensated for it. The good news is, this is a really easy way to showcase the added value you bring to the table simply by walking into the room prepared with comparative roles and salaries.
Do the research and compare your current job description alongside the job description of the role that you’re “really doing”. Dig up as much salary information as you can find too. Share salaries from similar roles, in similar industries and even in other industries as well. Don’t be afraid to present job descriptions and salaries for the role that’s one promotion or pay grade up from where you are currently to show where you desire to grow.
When it’s in black and white it becomes a lot easier for your manager to agree that it’s time to adjust your salary accordingly.
Show Your Work
In addition to outlining your actual role, you’ll also want to show your value through compiling a list of achievements and contributions you’ve made to the organization in the last year or since your last raise. Create that list, review it to boost your confidence, and bring it to the table.
Being able to confidently show and say, “These are the contributions I’ve made” demonstrates your value beyond far your ability to do the work you’re assigned.
It allows you to create some leverage here and leverage is key in negotiations.
Always Talk About The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, companies are in business to make money — even when they’re not-for-profit
When you’re reviewing your list of accomplishments be sure to talk in terms of the bottom line as often as you can. You’ll want to show how you’re driving sales, acquisitions or assets for the company or how you’re increasing resources.
If you’re in a position where you don’t directly impact the bottom line or sales, in an admin or a human resources role perhaps, you can share where you were able to save the company money instead.
Share examples that demonstrate how you’ve contributed to the improvement of workflow, used resources more effectively, and how you helped make the lives easier of those who are in sales or revenue producing roles. That’s just as important since it contributes to healthy profits.
Schedule a Time to Talk About Your Raise
Rather than springing a salary discussion on your boss, it’s really important to set a time and day to discuss your compensation with the appropriate person whether it be your hiring manager, Human Resources etc.
You want it to be clear that you’re opening a dialogue to talk about salary and you want them to be in the right mindset to have that kind of conversation.
It can feel confronting but you need to be transparent about your desire to negotiate salary in order to create the kind of outcome you’re hoping for. When your manager is also prepared to have this conversation, it puts you in a place of power. You can be totally open and upfront and your manager will expect you to be.
Take Control Of The Conversation
Being the one to request the conversation, you’re also in a place to lead the conversation if you choose…and it’s wise to do so.
Take control of the conversation by being the first to when you enter the room. Thank your manager for taking the time to review your compensation package and let him or her know that you’ve pulled together a package to review together. Present your case and allow her to provide their feedback but do not allow her to control the conversation.
When you’ve stated the facts and your requested salary, close the conversation by asking for immediate feedback if that’s appropriate or a clear date of decision.
You want to make it clear that you’re expecting a decision or decision date at the end.
Be Ready For Objections
To effectively control the flow of conversation you’ll also want to prepare for any objections beforehand.
Think of all the possible reasons your raise or promotion might be declined and come up with a counter point.
Here are a few to get started….
If they say, “Well there’s no room in the company budget.”
Prepare notes prior to the meeting on ways you can increase funds for the company or department. Or, consider countering with benefits that aren’t directly related to salary such as personal development days, money, vacation time or days off.
If they say, “That no one else is getting a raise.”
This might be an opportunity to discuss the timing of your last raise if it’s been a while. You’ll also want to explore your performance over this period of time to demonstrate where you’ve performed over and above your colleagues and therefore deserve unique opportunities. Again, you might wish to consider or suggest non-salary benefit like extra training.
Follow-up, Follow-up, Follow-up
Once you’ve wrapped up your presentation, ask for a decision within a certain timeframe. Then, let your manager know, you’ll be following up within a week and that you look forward to a positive result from the conversation. Close the conversation immediately afterwards by thanking your manager for his or her time and walking out of the room with confidence.
Be sure you follow up in a week as promised… or even better, as soon as you walk out of the room, schedule a follow-up meeting so they have it on their calendar as well.
One Last Thing…
If you’re a ball of nerves either right before you head into the conversation, the best place focus is that list of accomplishments you’ve created to help you really own the fact you that you are an asset and deserve to be compensated accordingly.
I also shared a few more tips recently right here
Remember! You have a lot to offer and your list of accomplishments (along with your cumulative list of degrees and career achievements) is proof that you have contributed so much already so go ahead and create that list!
Now is actually a great time to recall and capture your accomplishments throughout the year if you haven’t been keeping track.
To help you get crystal clear on the value you brought to your organization in 2017 and to begin setting your career goals for 2018 I have a special gift to send your way…
It’s the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide.
This is a special workbook I’ve created for our community (for free) to help you review your year and set intentional goals for the year to come. The first section is all about capturing this year’s accomplishments so I highly recommend downloading it if you’re wanting to talk new salary (or new role) in 2018.
Download your copy of the Veza 2018 Goal Setting Intention Guide here
p.s. After you grab your copy be sure to join us over in our private Facebook Community where we’ll be completing the workbook together and masterminding to create a game plan to magnetize your dream career (with the salary to match) in 2018.
May these resources guide you to ask for what you’re worth and get it! Enjoy!
A few months ago I was gifted the book – The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. I decided that yesterday I would start reading this book, well I got so into it (plus it is a quick read) I was finished by the end of the night.
The Go Giver is based on a story of how a man learns to show up in the world. Through different experiences he is taught the “Trade Secret.” I strongly suggest reading the story but I will share the 5 Laws discussed in the book.
The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success
1. The Law of Value – Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
2. The Law of Compensation – Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
3. The Law of Influence – Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
4. The Law of Authenticity – The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
5. The Law of Receptivity – The key to effective giving is stay open to receiving.
How can you apply these principles in your life?
Originally when I had heard about the title “Why Women Love Bitches” I thought to myself, there is no way I am reading a book that calls women “bitches.” I do not like to degrade women by calling them names such as “bitches.”
After being recommended this book and physically being handed it, I figured I must read it. Now I wish I read this book years ago as it would have changed how I dated or did relationships.
The premise of the book as I see it, is to empower women to be aligned to themselves, be strong and powerful as women. Sherry Argov, the author, teaches women to have opinions, allow men to come into their lives instead of chasing them, be truthful to what they are trying to achieve in their lives instead of making their lives about the relationship and reiterates the fact that women need to be interesting, have passions and be multi-dimensional.
This book is a must read for all those who are single, dating or married. As it is important to have the most dynamic personality of your own so that you are complete as a person with or without a partner.
Ask yourself what are 5 things that make you interesting?